


wearing thin the heart beneath

by manghoe



Series: tumblr prompts [3]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, once again alec is gay and panics a lot how #me of him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 17:30:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6714202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manghoe/pseuds/manghoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec realized a few things as soon as he woke up. One, he had a pounding headache that felt like a cacophony of screaming in his brain. Two, his mouth tasted like something had died inside of it. And three, he was definitely in his best friend, and nothing more, Magnus Bane’s, bed completely naked. And when he turned around just a little bit, he saw Magnus himself, who, from the looks of it, was also fully nude. </p><p>Alec, the calm, rational, and composed person that he was, waited approximately 2 seconds before beginning to freak out. </p><p>tumblr prompt: malec + things you said when you were drunk</p>
            </blockquote>





	wearing thin the heart beneath

**Author's Note:**

> this one got much longer than the others but i love it i've been meaning to write something like this for a while

Alec realized a few things as soon as he woke up. One, he had a pounding headache that felt like a cacophony of screaming in his brain. Two, his mouth tasted like something had died inside of it. And three, he was definitely in his best friend,  _and nothing more_ , Magnus Bane’s, bed  _completely naked_. And when he turned around just a little bit, he saw Magnus himself, who, from the looks of it, was also fully nude. 

Alec, the calm, rational, and composed person that he was, waited approximately 2 seconds before beginning to freak out. 

_What the fuck happened last night?_

The little part of Alec’s brain that seemed to always express itself in Jace’s voice dryly replied, “Nothing you haven’t wanted for a really long time, asshole.”

And that was the crux of the matter, wasn’t it? Alec and Magnus had been friends for almost 15 years now, meeting when Magnus was 9 and Alec 8. They had become fast friends in no time, despite their differing interests, which quickly resolved when Alec started making Magnus come with him to archery lessons and Magnus started making Alec model the clothing he had designed. They were the best of friends and everyone knew it, but that wasn’t the problem. 

The problem was that Alec had been in love with Magnus for about 7 of those years of friendship. 

High school had been hell for Alec, as he was forced to watch Magnus enter relationship after relationship, only to get his heart broken, and there was a part of Alec that wanted to scream, “It’s me! It’s been me, it’s always been me, I’ve been here all along,” but he couldn’t. Alec simply couldn’t bring himself to destroy his greatest friendship besides that of his sibling with a confession like  _that_  (and destroy it would, Alec was sure of it). 

And so, he kept quiet, and felt the world shatter around him every single time Magnus brought around a new partner to introduce to Alec. He attempted to put on a smile, look happy for Magnus, but it was always hollow. And oh God, the worst had been Camille, because she had  _known_. She took one calculating look at Alec when they were introduced and immediately got a glint in her eyes that froze Alec, who at once realized he had been discovered. That breakup had been the worst, and Alec had picked up the pieces with a scowl set upon his face. 

So yeah, Alec had a lot of reasons to be freaking out about the fact that he and his best friend were currently naked under the sheets in said best friend’s bed, and that he had no recollection of the night before. And therefore, he did what any sensible person would do.

He leaped out of the bed and started putting on his clothes that were previously half-hazardly strewn across the room, a fact that did nothing to dispel his growing panic. He picked up his phone that was, thankfully, just sitting upon the bedside table, and got the  _hell_  out of there, running back to his apartment at top speed. 

Once there, he slammed the door shut and started panting to catch his breath and normalize his breathing. He would usually call Magnus in a situation like this but given the reason for his oncoming breakdown, well, he settled for pressing 2 on speed dial. 

“Hey, big bro! What’s up? How’s that hangover of yours from that party yesterday?”, Isabelle practically screamed, clearly taking joy in her abilities to incessantly annoy Alec. But there was something, something in that tone of hers that was cautious, as if she didn’t want Alec to find out…..  _No_.

“Izzy, I- What happened yesterday? I woke up this morning and…” He really didn’t want to finish that sentence with his little sister on the other end of the line but it seemed that she had caught on.

“I was wondering when you would call panicking,” she continued in a more serious tone, “and let me guess. You woke up in a rather incriminating position with Magnus and have no idea how you got there right?”

“That’s pretty much it. What do you know that you’re not telling me?”

Izzy hesitated, she  _actually hesitated_ , and that’s how Alec knew he was in deep shit. “Look just… think about it, see what you can remember. Try not to panic too much. I’m coming over.” 

And with that, she hung up, leaving Alec extremely confused and still quite panicked. He walked to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water, taking an Advil along with it, sitting down at the counter and hoping the semblance of normalcy could bring back some of his memories from the night before. 

_Magnus and Alec danced, Alec’s hand firmly holding Magnus’ hips close to him as they grinded up on each other. Alec bent down to whisper in Magnus’ ear, “You want to get out of here?”_

Fuck. That definitely did not happen. Nope. No way. Alec took another sip of water, and more of the night before came back to him. 

_Alec and Magnus sat at the bar, both well past the point of simply being drunk, Magnus actually swaying in his seat and Alec giddily giggling, mumbling something to himself. “Hmm, what’s that darling?”, Magnus questioned, voice somewhat high pitched due to his inebriation but somehow still managing to string together sentences with that bravado manner of his._

_Alec giggled again, before hiccuping and proclaiming louder, “You know I’m in love with you, right?”_

Holy shit.

That had definitely happened at Pandemonium last night. There was no way Alec could dream up something that bad, and with that he knew he was completely screwed. 

How did he manage to fuck up so badly? How did he manage to get so drunk that he not only had sex with Magnus, but also revealed his most well kept secret for years? 

Alec was jolted back from his thoughts by banging on the door and yelling that he identified as his brother and sister. He walked over to the door, massaging his temples, before opening it with a decidedly unimpressed stare. Jace and Izzy shared one conspiratory look before barging in.

“Well, do you remember?”, and Alec was reminded of one of the reasons he loved his sister. For all her brashness, she knew when he needed gentle reassuring and this was definitely one of those times. 

“I- yeah. I do, some of it. Magnus and I went back to his place and well, you can fill in the blanks but… I told him I’m in love with him.”

At that, Jace and Izzy were surprised. Those two, along with Clary and Luke, who had somehow figured out, were the only ones who knew how Alec felt about Magnus. And his siblings were the ones who knew the full extent of it after everything they had been through in high school with him. 

“Do you remember what he said?”

And damn, it must be bad if even Jace was walking on eggshells with him. 

“That’s the problem, I have no idea what he said back. Oh my god, what if he doesn’t want us to be friends anymore? What if he wakes up and remembers? Or worse, what if he wakes up and  _doesn’t_  remember?” 

Alec continued on like this for a minute, his siblings sharing a despairing look before Isabelle walked over and slapped him on the arm to get his attention. She replied, “He’d be a fool to lose your friendship. And from what we saw last night, he probably feels the same way about you. Just go over and talk to him, goddammit!”

And so, a few hours later, Alec found himself (once again) back at the loft of one Magnus Bane, clammy hands fidgeting after knocking on the door. Magnus opened the door, mouth already forming words before he looked up, stopped dead, and whispered, “Alexander.”

And Alec knew right then and there that Magnus remembered and he was going to get his damn heart broken today.  

“Look Magnus, I- I’m sorry. Obviously last night was a drunk mistake and you don’t feel the same way about me so can we please, please just put it behind us and move on?”, Alec’s shaky tone belying his true feelings, even as he attempted to brush it off with a smile on his face.

“What if I don’t think last night was a mistake?”

Alec’s eyes widened at Magnus’ statement, at his strong, unwavering voice as he looked at Alec with a sad little smile playing on his lips.

“What if I feel the same way about you? What if I  _always_  have?” Magnus continued, only his eyes showing his complete vulnerability with that question. 

Alec’s jaw dropped a little and he responded the only way he knew how. He surged forward and crashed his lips into Magnus’, both men swaying a little on their feet from the pressure of it. It felt like heaven to kiss Magnus while he was actually in control of all of his senses, like the forces of nature had come together for this moment, like everything up to this point had been worth it, like  _everything he had always wished for_. 

They separated to breathe, resting their foreheads upon each other’s. Magnus reverently murmured, “I’m in love with you, darling.” And all Alec could say back was, “And I you, dumbass.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me @matheusdaddario !!! i love u all for reading my shit!!!


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